Always Maybe, Never Always
by onedracomalfoy
Summary: After Lois's accident, Clark makes sure Lois knows he will always be there for her. Post SR. ClarkLois.


**title:** always maybe, never always  
**author:** weepies  
**summary**: if only he knew she was waiting, and that she loved him back.  
**disclaimer:** i don't own nothing but my words.

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"Not now, Clark," Lois exclaims, jerking her finger onto the down button at the Daily Planet in rapid succession. She crosses her arms in frustration and sighs heavily.

"No, but -- but Lois, it's really important this time -- " Clark tries to convince her, but his efforts are in vain. Lois continues to press the elevator button until a loud ring signals its arrival.

"Clark, _please_, I have a lunch-date with Richard that I'm late for," Lois explains heavily. "I just don't have time right now -- but, we'll get coffee later or something, or we'll just, I don't know, I'll call you!" The gleaming silver doors close, and Clark Kent is left with only his reflection staring back at him.

----

Lois Lane shrugs her wavy brown hair from her face and takes quick, light steps to the side of the busy street in front of her office building. She stares at the bright red pumps on her feet as she walks.

"Lois!" a timid voice calls from behind her. She closes her eyes irritatedly and sighs once more before turning around.

"Yes, Clark?"

"I just -- well, you...I just wanted to make sure you were, ah, alright." Clark earnestly scratches his neck.

"What?"

"You seemed upset today. You -- well...sad, even. I was just checking to see if you were okay, but, ah. If you're...okay..." he stammers. For some reason, Lois's expression softens slightly.

"I'm okay, just feeling a little bit down. I'll be fine soon."

Clark nods. "Look, Lois, I know I'm kind of strange sometimes, but...if you ever need someone to talk to...I'm always around."

_I'm always around._

Lois's eyes widen considerably, her mouth opening in surprise and confusion. She begins to take in every detail of his face, in a way she never has before. Even the way he said her name was eerily familiar. The confidence in which he expressed his final statement invades Lois's consciousness with a sort of deja-vu. She looks him deep in the eyes, a startling, rare blue that she hasn't noticed...hasn't had the time or care to notice since they started working together.

Clark looks away from her intense gaze and clears his throat. Lois finally blinks. "Oh, I...I just spaced out, Clark, sorry." She begins to turn away, but once again faces him. "And thank you, Clark. I mean it." She smiles gently, stares at him for just a moment longer, and then hurries across the street to her car.

----

She plucks lint from her dark skinny jeans as she closes the door behind her. "My god, Clark..." she mutters. Her voice is shakier than she had intended to be. Lois keeps her slender fingers clasped firmly on the wheel as the car begins to move. When the shrill ring of her cell-phone startles her from her reverie, she curses quietly and observes Richard's name on the digital screen. Hesitantly, she answers.

"Richard?" Lois begins.

"Lois, are you on your way?"

She pauses. "Yes, Richard. Yes. I'll be there soon."

"Are you taking a cab?"

"No, Richard. I took the car this morning specifically so that I could pick up Jason after school, remember?" Lois snaps. There is a stunned silence on Richard's end. His reply is uncomfortably cold.

"Right. See you soon, then."

She flips her cell-phone shut angrily and allows herself to think of Him for a moment. She thinks of His smile and her hands stop shaking. Abruptly, her cell-phone rings once more and she answers an unfamiliar number, only to hear a familiar voice on the other end of the line.

"Hello, Lois? Lois?"

"Yes? Who is this?"

"Oh," the voice stammers. "It's Clark. Sorry, but I think you dropped your draft on the ground here, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to drop it off later or if you just wanted to come back and pick it up..."

"Shit," curses Lois angrily. "Thanks, Clark, I'll come right back and get it. Will you wait outside for me? I have to be quick."

"Sure thing, Lois."

She closes her cell phone and turns around at the next light, her foot subconsciously pressing on the gas petal. She sees a yellow light in front of her, but Clark is a mere few yards away, and if she can just get to him quickly and meet with Richard so that she can decide whether or not it's worth resolving the issues they are having, she'll stop feeling like the entire world has settled its weight on her shoulders.

She thinks of Him once more. She wonders if this is how Superman felt before _he_ disappeared. Lois thinks to herself that maybe she understands the need to disappear for a little while, wanting to just not exist ---

There are several loud beeps and then Lois hears the screetching of tires. In an instant, the fiberglass and metal of her car door crumble beside her and she is enveloped in a chaotic mess of herself, of blackness. She hears someone screaming, a woman (perhaps the screams are her own, but she'll never know), and feels an unbearable pain somewhere in her mid-torso. She is unconscious before the car stops rolling.

----

The first thing Lois notices is the lack of air getting to her lungs and that her vision is foggy. There is an uncomfortable wetness on her face and nose and she wonders, could that be blood? She would check to make sure but she cannot seem to lift her arms and she is sure the mirrors on her car have broken. She blinks slowly.

A shadow of someone appears above her, all dark hair and horrified, crying blue eyes -- they could be blue, they could be any color really, but she hears blue in the warmth of His fingertips on her neck. She wonders why He isn't wearing his blue and red suit. Maybe she would feel safer were he were dressed as a superhero, but he seems vaguely ordinary in the stop-and-go visions she is having of him. Her eyes glaze and she suddenly feels very tired. She looks up at the clouds (how did I get on the ground?), hoping Richard will pick up Jason at school so he doesn't think she forgot about him.

Lois tries to say Jason's name, but all that exits her mouth is a hoarse, devastating moan. Someone lifts up her hand, to check her pulse, _yes_, she has seen that in movies. Her hand is covered in red. She wonders which part of her body the blood came from.

She tries to say Jason's name again. Surely, _surely_ Superman would recognize her pleas for help, but He stands motionless, as if frozen, above her. Lois closes her eyes and wishes she had enough strength to scream. Her head pounds and there is a dull aching in her chest. She hears Clark calling her name from somewhere far away. There is something comforting about the sound, and she tries to reach out for him, but her arms still do not move.

Somewhere amidst Clark's voice and the pitter-patter of excited feet, Lois surrenders to the intensifying, echoing quiet.

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End file.
